My my it's been a long while. If that doesn't speak to how crazy the past months have been, I don't know what would. Lol. What I have learned about the disease I have since I last wrote here is too much to tell. There are layers & layers & layers of understanding Chronic Lyme. It's been a journey to educate myself and yet NOT take it all on. That's just me. I have to know everything I can, leave no stone unturned, no mystery unanswered. And then process... take it in...filter...and let it go. Take everything good; every tiny gem and incorporate it into this not really 'new' but yet wholly different person that I have discovered in myself in the last 6 months. I've had to accept this path for the time being and that this thing has truly rendered me dependent on those that love me. That is not an easy thing to swallow, believe me. To let your pride and independence take a back seat, to be willing to change EVERYTHING and accept that you are fighting for your life when you had no idea.....
But I am incredibly blessed with an amazing family, the bestest boyfriend in the world and a lot of wonderful supportive friends. I have spent the last few months in serious nesting mode. Preparing, gathering, hunkering down for the battle. Though I am pretty determined to not think of it as a war so much as a cleansing....a major cleansing!
Lyme is caused by a bacteria called Borrelia burgdorferi, a spirochete like Syphilis. They are easily transmitted from a tick bite. The longer they are in your system, the deeper they go. They are smart. They hide. They can affect any part of your body. They go nuts in the Central Nervous System. They like the brain, the heart and collagenous tissue like the eyeballs and joints. They cause massive inflammation that moves around without warning. They lower your body temperature and blood pressure. They like injuries, surgical scars, sugar and carbohydrates. Untreated they cause damage, infection and will eventually kill the host by some massive complication. There is a big fat lie (just one of MANY) about chronic Lyme, that people don't die from it. They do. All the time. From 'complications'... heart failure, kidney failure, encephalitis, infection and much more. From lack of adequate treatment by uneducated or fearful Dr's; by being misdiagnosed and treated incorrectly.
As for myself... it looks like I got this somewhere between 7 and 12 years of age. I had a definite tick bite after camping in Wisconsin when I was 7 and I spent some time in the summers in Connecticut during those years in the early 80's when it was spreading like wildfire from the town of Old Lyme. (Though being in an endemic region is not necessarily a requirement as ticks travels easily on birds, deer or other animals.)
So after around 30 years of fighting this thing without knowing it, I have answers. Doctors ignored my concerns mostly, or tried to treat by symptom or gave me low doses of antibiotics to treat whatever infection was currently puzzling them. I can't blame them. They didn't know what to look for. They didn't know what they were looking at. The symptoms are vast and change constantly. Your blood work comes back normal, well...apparently you're fine! It really wasn't until I had been given consistent doses of steroids for allergies over the last 2 years that things ramped up to crisis level. Steroids are the worst thing you can do for Lyme! Want to find out if you have it? Take some steroids! lol.
Now my life makes sense...ALL OF IT. It's taken months to grok this and I believe it will continue for some time. Having the opportunity to 're-see' my entire life is.....wild. Awareness IS everything.
Now I am 7 weeks into treatment. My Dr asked for 2 years, possibly more. I have good days and bad. I am overwhelmed at times with both gratitude and grief. Some days I feel like the strongest person alive...others like I can't do it one more minute. But as of right now, I am getting better. I'm settling on a schedule so I can best handle the 4 days on treatment and the 3 days of detox... every week. I can handle the 40+ vitamins/supplement/ nuero support a day. I've figured out how make a daily list so I can keep track of each of the 12 that I have to take 3x a day or 5x. I'm cutting out all the things that aren't good for me. I'm changing my diet. I'm learning how to fit in exercise, coffee enemas, meditaion, detox baths, infrared sauna therapy, rest, 4 doses of alka seltzer, vitamin & green foods smoothies, blood pressure readings, symptom charting, research, teas, essential oils, special foods, juicing, emergency supportive phone calls, dry skin brushing, spiritual healing tools and all the other things I need every day. I'm gathering all the tools I need to be pretty much housebound and isolated from the world. I'm walking through the fire baby...
and mostly... I AM GRATEFUL. I am already grateful for every minute of it. I feel spoiled by the amount of LOVE and abundance in my life. It's a new year and I choose to be overwhelmed with gratitude.
more soon...
